Get a Load of These Douchebags
Johnny Pluckman
A man who takes his metal appearance very seriously. He never wears anything but black, always keeps his beard straight and sharp as a sword. On top of this, he's also the bassist in Arcane Malevolence. He's the man behind the scenes, so to speak, making sure the band keeps pushing its face into everyone's business like a wild cougar (the kind you'd find at a bar in Darien). He books the shows, he talks to the people, he keeps the paparazzi at a distance, and he's also damn good looking to boot.
Christopher Anderson
He's been in bands since the beginning of time. He was one of the first to play drums on the new world of the Americas back when he was a Viking. He has been on the run for years from Lars Ulrich, a man who's been conspiring to steal back the drum skills Chris stole from him after the 4th Metallica album. Some say he plays like an octopus, other people say he plays like a spider, other people think he's a centipede. But none of these animals can play the drums, so what are they talking about?
Christopher Baldwin
A young man with an incredible sense for swanky fashion. A young man who sits in a chair when he performs. A young man who has a couple of tattoos, but only has the line-work finished and doesn’t seem too keen on getting them filled in. A young man who's only half as lazy as he seems. A young man who sings and screams like a poet of lunacy. A young man who puts every single bit of emotional distress and hilarity he can conjure up into his act. A young man, and the front man, in Arcane Malevolence.
Michael Devaney
He's more mysterious than 1970s Jimmy Page, he's more masculine than 1970s David Bowie, and he's more talented than 1960s, 70s, 80s, 90s and 00s Keith Richards. A talented and punctual master of the strings. A hairy and near-sighted monster of some deep, dark and wintry domain the members of Immortal would die to take pictures in, and where we think the new Wintersun album might be hiding from the general public. He's also the producer of the debut Arcane album, and for that we bless his curls with a chalice of Dionysus.
